By MARIAH MERCER and CHANDRA NIKLEWSKI
FEATURES WRITERs
For years, Barb Carlo has lit a candle in honor of cancer patients at the Fostoria Relay for Life.
This year, for the first time, they'll light a candle for her.
The longtime cancer activist is reaching the end of her own battle.
Barb fought cancer for others since 1995. For 11 years, she worked with the Seneca County Tobacco Optimism and Prevention (STOP) Coalition as president and coordinated the tobacco prevention education for fourth- through sixth-graders in area schools.
Debbie Carlo, Barb's youngest daughter, explained Barb's father died from pancreatic cancer, her father-in-law from prostate cancer and her mother-in-law from ovarian cancer.
"We're a very small, very close family unit and cancer is very personal for us," Debbie said.
Barb has been the face of every Relay for Life in Fostoria since its inception. She's been a member of the Man to Man Prostate Cancer Support Group, Women's Cancer Support Group and cancer education programs at local health fairs.
"You say cancer society and you say Barb Carlo, they just go hand-in-hand," said Becky Bouillon, who worked with Barb at ProMedica Total Wellness at Fostoria Community Hospital.
"It was just the thing to do. I had to fight against cancer, battle it back," said Barb of her efforts.
Last year, Barb retired as chair of the Relay for Life to spend more time with her four grandchildren, Emily, 15; Drew, 12; Austin, 6 and Anika, 3.
But she didn't know how little time she would have.
Barb's cancer fight began in November 2008 with "a little pain in the back," said her husband Maury Carlo.
After being told she had a pulled back muscle, she tried to live with the pain.
"At all the family activities, she just wasn't herself," Debbie remembered.
After speaking to friends who had survived pancreatic cancer and learning their cancer had also manifested as a small pain in their backs, Barb thought that may be her diagnosis.
She insisted on a CAT scan and her doctor relented in December. The scan showed a thickening around her left lung and some fluid.
She was referred to a pulmonologist, who mentioned the word "mesothelioma," a cancer of the lining of the lungs, usually caused by asbestos inhalation. The couple decided to go to experts at the Cleveland Clinic.
"The surgeon didn't think it was mesothelioma. They needed to go in and drain off the fluid and get a sample of the growth to see what it was. When it came back mesothelioma, the surgeon was still quite surprised. Nevertheless, that was the diagnosis," said Maury.
They scheduled a surgery to try to remove the tumor -- set for after the Singing Valentine's event, yet another Relay fund raiser the Carlos coordinated for Valentine's Day.
Doctors removed 85 percent of tumor -- the other 15 percent could not be removed because it was wrapped around her pericardium and diaphragm.
Debbie said the family received the news Barb had mesothelioma while she was still in surgery.
"It was awful. We cried a lot," Debbie said of the hours after the family received the news.
Debbie spent two days by Barb's side in the intensive care unit where a breathing tube was used. Another seven days were spent recovering while Barb had chest tubes in place.
Barb was later diagnosed with a rare form of the cancer, sarcomatoid mesothelioma, which only strikes approximately 10 percent of those diagnosed.
Debbie said Barb went through two rounds of chemotherapy and had another CAT scan. The results were devastating, Debbie explained. The cancer was not only still there, it had grown to nearly the same as when it was first discovered during the surgery.
"It's been a blitzkrieg. It's hit us hard and fast," said Maury.
She had another course of radiation to help with her pain levels, but in early June the family decided to forgo further radiation treatments.
"With all the blood they've taken out of her, I'm surprised it didn't come out purple," said Deb Hilborn, income development coordinator with the American Cancer Society.
In the 14 years with the American Cancer Society, 11 of those years as a Relay for Life co-chair for the event, Barb helped raise $1.5 million.
"The passion she has for the American Cancer Society and Relay for Life -- if anyone could just catch a portion of that, there's nothing we couldn't do. ... She's still very passionate about the Relay. I see her about once a week and she always asks 'how are you' and 'how's the Relay,'" said Hilborn.
Barb is the honorary chair of this year's Relay.
"She had the nickname of 'sunshine' because the sun always shines on the Relay. The rain could be pouring down for a week, but by gosh it was going to do it for Barb. Barb has always been a take-charge kind of a gal. She had a mission and she was going to live that mission out. We didn't know it, but she was going to get it done," said Bouillon.
Barb has always been determined and always been the one to get things done, according to Marilyn Phillips, one of the five "Buckeye Babes" Barb roomed with in nursing school at Ohio State University. Her former roommates and lifelong friends have taken turns visiting, helping Maury and "holding Barb's hand."
"Barb is just our rock. She's such a stable person that we can depend on and look to for that kind of guidance in whatever. ... We each had a name and Barb is The Organizer. She keeps us organized and on task. She makes sure we're getting done what we're setting out to do that day," said Phillips, originally of Risingsun and now of Scottsbluff, Neb.
Barb and Maury have three children, David Carlo, Diane Norris and Debra Carlo.
"She was always active at Lakota High School. She was always involved in the PTOs, music boosters, athletic boosters, anything our kids were involved in, she was active in support of," recalled Maury.
"She's always been shocked at this outpouring of people who have said she has touched their lives in so many ways," Debbie said.
Debbie said her mother has helped many people in the area by cheering them on at games and treating them as she did her own children when their parents were not able to be there for them.
"She's phenomenal. Not one of us could ever get up to that level and she had no ideas she was," Debbie said of her mother's ability to be humble regarding how many people have been touched by Barb's life.
Barb has spent years bringing health to Fostoria. She formed a health ministry at her church, First Presbyterian Church, where she served as the volunteer nurse, and helped create a network of health ministries, now with 19 churches involved.
"Barb doesn't see obstacles or barriers, she only sees opportunities," said Laura Ritzler, the director of ProMedica Total Wellness.
She also arranged for Fostoria Community Hospital, local agencies and the mobile health van to offer free health screenings for 40 underprivileged adults and children. She and Ritzler created a medical lending equipment closet, which provided walkers, crutches, wheelchairs, shower benches and other equipment for those who can't afford it.
"She can run circles around all of us. She was the oldest one of our staff and she's always, always on the move and would absolutely give you the shirt off your back," said Bouillon.
Her caregiving included both patients and friends. Ruth Pickens, a breast cancer survivor, met her as a volunteer at the American Cancer Society and the two became fast friends.
The two went to lunch together, volunteered together and grew close. Last July, Pickens' house was destroyed in a fire and Barb was immediately at her side.
"Here she come running down the street to me as I was sitting there watching my house burn and said 'Oh my God, Ruth, are you all right?' She'd already called the Red Cross and had them on the way in," recalled Pickens. When they found out her house was a complete loss, Barb tried to convince her to come stay with her.
"I didn't take her up on it, but just to know that the offer was there for a home if I needed it as long as I needed it was amazing," said Pickens. When she found a place to live, Barb showed up with a vacuum sweeper when Pickens mentioned wanting to clean the apartment. Because her clothes had been destroyed, including all her Relay memorabilia, Barb brought her a sack of Relay T-shirts.
"She's just been an amazing friend. ... I know we're going to lose her now and it's tearing me up," said Pickens.
For Barb, the goal now is to make it to this year's Relay for Life.
"I'm very sick. I don't know if I'm going to make it. All my friends say you're going to be there you're going to be there, we'll push you in the wheelchair. My goal is to be there, to make it to Relay this year. I want to so badly," said Carlo. "I'm battling each day in order to make it."
But that goal is not going to be met, according to Debbie. Barb has taken a turn for the worse and while Barb's husband and eldest daughter, Diane Norris, will attend, the woman being honored at this year's Relay for Life will not.
"We're hoping she'll find heaven very soon because I can't watch this much longer," Debbie said.
Although Debbie said her mother is the most amazing soul she has ever met, her family is holding onto their faith and expect Barb's work to continue even after she leaves them.
"She'll organize heaven. We're pretty sure she's going to go up there and whip everyone into shape," Debbie said.
Debbie is also working on recording Barb's legacy and is working with www.storycorps.org to chronicle her mother's life in Barb's words and voice, a recording which will stay in the Library of Congress archives when completed.
The recordings are for Barb's family and grandchildren who may never hear her voice, but also for the people who can learn so much from the things Barb has worked for over the years.
"We've gotten this wonderful outpouring of empathy and we just have to be grateful for that," Debbie said.
EDITOR'S NOTE: Barbara Carlo passed away peacefully Friday afternoon, just before this story went to press.
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